How Others Treat You Is Their Problem - Not Yours
Understand this ONE INSIGHT to STAY emotionally STRONG - even if others try to hurt you
This incident happened sometime in Feb 2020.
I was waiting at the clinic to see my family doctor.
I couldn’t help but overhear a conversation between two doctors…
“So, I’ve been hearing disturbing things about COVID…”
“Yeah, there are rumours about the first case in Toronto…”
“If the rumours are true, trust me, we’re all royally screwed.”
And then they giggle…
I’m still in the waiting room along with a couple of other patients.
Call me crazy, but I found that conversation very amusing, as I’ve never heard a doctor say we’re all screwed.
Not just screwed. But ROYALLY screwed!
I was almost laughing out loud.
The middle-aged guy who was sitting across from me, who also happened to overhear the conversation…
…the guy was so busy texting until that time…he abruptly stopped doing what he was doing, and looked at me with disgust.
From his horrific expression, I could tell he was utterly shocked about two things:
ONE: He did not like what he overheard.
TWO: He ABSOLUTELY did not like MY REACTION to what we both overheard.
Those words, coming from a doctor, probably sent shock waves down his spine.
And he couldn’t come to terms with how someone (me) could laugh at something so serious.
I managed to keep a straight face and looked the other way until what seemed like eternity.
(I still had an uneasy feeling he was judging me!)
Anyway, there’s an important insight from this incident I’d like to share with you.
We both were middle-aged men.
We both were waiting at the same clinic.
We both overheard the same conversation.
Yet, we both reacted VERY DIFFERENTLY.
Our individual RESPONSES to the same situation was different.
I found it funny.
He was terrified.
I don’t blame him. He probably played out the pandemic in his head even before it was anything remotely close to being labelled a pandemic, at least in North America.
But when things started heating up in March 2020, I was terrified too. It hit me hard. But it took a long-ass time to hit me hard. We all truly were royally screwed!
Here’s the keyword: INTERNAL RESPONSE.
We all have an INTERNAL RESPONSE to EVERY EXTERNAL situation.
Most of our internal responses to external situations are INSTANTANEOUS and UNCONSCIOUS.
Our internal reaction to what we see or hear is a RESPONSE, which impacts HOW WE FEEL.
Our INTERNAL RESPONSE could be an expression of joy, stress, or aggression. Sometimes, nothing. Neutral.
It depends on how we’re naturally wired.
If someone calls you an idiot, you can either be mad about it for the next 6 months, or shrug it off and move on.
It comes down to how you RESPOND.
When I say RESPOND, I don’t mean your ability to REPLY to someone.
That’s not what I mean.
Response doesn’t have to be outwardly expressive all the time.
In fact, the response I’m talking about is NOT the one that’s outwardly expressive.
The RESPONSE I’m referring to is INTERNAL - more for yourself - it simply means how you take it.
Would you let it wound you?
Or would you remain unscathed, because you CAN?
In any given life situation, we all have the RESPONSIBILITY to respond in a way our mental health remains unscathed.
It’s called RESPONSE-ABILITY - our ability to respond.
You can’t always control the external world…
But HOW YOU RESPOND to it INTERNALLY, a.k.a, HOW YOU TAKE IT, is 100% in YOUR CONTROL.
It’s like installing a reverse-osmosis water filtration system in your mind. If someone dumps seawater, you have the ability to desalinate it and absorb the fresh water.
When you realize this insight, there’s no going back.
I wish you get a taste of the fresh water — for your own INNER PEACE and STABILITY. ✨
About Me
I’m an NLP-trained mental-health coach. Read my story here.
I help busy professionals overcome their STRESS & ANXIETY in 8 Sessions, so they can stay CALM even during a STORM.
I’ve helped people get aha-moments in 20-minute hallway conversations that have completely changed their lives in ways they couldn’t imagine.
Would You Like My Help?
I invite you to a relaxed 60-min virtual coffee chat with me - it might be the BREAKTHROUGH you’ve been waiting for to turn your life around!
You’ll be amazed at how a simple conversation can EMPOWER YOU WITH CLARITY, so you can become unstoppable and unstuck from whatever is holding you back.
If you’re up for it, send me a DM via the Substack App or email me: guru@daivi.ca
I wish you nothing but the best in whatever you pursue. 👊