When The Chains Feel Comfortable, You Stop Looking For The Key
The abuser who convinced people that FREEDOM is their ENEMY
A woman walks into a bank in Stockholm.
She’s just here to cash a check.
Just another ordinary day.
Then - GUNSHOTS. SCREAMS.
Four men storm in, masks on, rifles raised.
“GET DOWN!” someone shouts.
She doesn’t think.
She just DROPS, pressing her face against the cold tile.
Heart racing. Breath shallow. This is it. She’s going to die.
But then - a hand on her shoulder. Gentle.
A whisper in her ear. “It’s okay. Just stay calm. We won’t hurt you if you do what we say.”
The next six days are a blur.
No food. No escape. Just FEAR.
The masked men bark orders.
The hostages obey.
The police surround the bank, negotiating, waiting.
Time drags.
The woman’s body is in survival mode.
But something STRANGE happens.
She starts to TRUST them.
One of them shares his jacket when she shivers.
Another cracks a joke to ease the tension.
They talk. They smile. They aren’t just criminals anymore.
They’re people.
She tells herself, “They don’t WANT to hurt us. They’re just in a bad situation.”
By the time the police storm in, guns blazing, she’s not relieved.
She’s ANGRY.
The world sees her as a victim.
But she doesn’t FEEL like one.
She DEFENDS the men in court.
Visits them in prison.
Says they SAVED her life.
This isn’t fiction.
It happened in Stockholm, Sweden, in 1973.
A six-day hostage crisis turned into a psychological mystery.
The victims, instead of hating their captors, bonded with them.
One even called the Prime Minister, saying she trusted the robbers more than the police.
That’s how Stockholm Syndrome was born.
And that’s exactly how addiction works.
At first, it’s terrifying.
You feel the danger.
The loss of control.
But then - just when you’re at your lowest - it whispers, “I’ve got you. I’ll take care of you. Just stay with me.”
It numbs your pain. It silences your anxiety. It fills your emptiness.
For a moment, you’re SAFE.
Days turn into months.
Months turn into years.
And you start to believe the biggest LIE of all: I NEED this.
By the time help arrives - by the time someone offers a way out - you don’t WANT to escape.
You DEFEND it. PROTECT it. Tell yourself, “It’s not that bad. It’s not hurting me.”
You TRUST your captor more than the people trying to save you.
That’s the trick.
Addiction doesn’t just HOLD you hostage.
It makes you LOVE your prison.
Because addiction isn’t just a habit.
It REWIRES your brain.
It hijacks your reward system, flooding it with dopamine, making you crave more - even when it destroys you.
The same way hostages cling to their captors, addicts cling to the very thing that’s KILLING them.
It’s not weakness.
It’s survival mode gone WRONG.
I’ve seen it firsthand.
A man who swore he’d quit tomorrow.
Every time.
Until his wife left.
His kids stopped calling.
His body shut down.
And still - he defended it. He said it was all he had left.
A woman who wanted out.
She TRIED.
She fought.
But every time, the withdrawals pulled her back.
The cravings whispered, “Just one more. Then you’ll stop for good.”
And she believed it. Again. And again.
Because addiction LIES.
It makes you believe FREEDOM is the enemy.
But here’s the truth: you are not trapped.
Addiction wants you to believe there’s NO way out.
That you’ll NEVER be free.
That life without it is WORSE.
But that’s a LIE.
The door has been OPEN all along.
You just have to step through it.
And yes - it’s NOT easy.
The withdrawals are REAL.
The cravings are LOUD.
But they are not stronger than you.
Freedom isn’t a FIGHT.
It’s a DECISION.
The moment you see the captor for who he truly is, the grip loosens.
The captor loses power.
And you?
You TAKE YOURS BACK.
FREEDOM - it’s closer than you think.
About me
I’m an NLP-trained Coach. Read my story here.
If you know someone who’s battling addiction, I can help them reverse their compulsive behaviours in 90 mins. DM me for help.
Email: guru@daivi.ca
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